This past weekend I had a wedding reception to attend and it was at La Massaria where Fran and I had ours. I haven’t been there since our reception and I debated on going. The neighbors also attending talked me into going and I’m glad they did. Now I did cry for the first ½ hour I was there and my neighbors were great. Very supportive as they understood because they also cared for Fran. We talked about some of the fun times we had with him to the point where we were laughing about the night Fran and the neighbor guys decided to pool hop next door. Very irresponsible of them all however in their defense I believe it was 3, 4 or maybe 5 too many margaritas in their system. The singing went on to all hours of the night. Singing on the top of their lungs to the tunes of the Don’t Cha by the Pussy Cats Dolls, Somebody Told by the Killers etc. Everyone appeared to have a good time until the next morning when Erin who was 16 at the time came down and looked at Fran and said “Oh Franny I am so disappointed in you” He was taken a back being given the disappointment speech by a 16 year old. After she left he said to me “You know she’s right, I shouldn’t have used the pool like that”. He did apologize to our neighbor. One of those life lessons he said to me that you should always be the role model to your children, not the other way around. He was good like that. Trying to be the best role model he could and tried to instill on the girls good values. He always worried about them and what was best for them. He was thankful to his daughter Jessica for her donating her bone marrow to him without hesitation in his time of need. He was thankful to Shiloh and Erin his stepdaughters for allowing me the freedom to care for him while under treatment. When we moved to Baltimore for 3 months during his Bone Marrow transplant they understood and never once complained. We were surprised by the doctors in being able to go home on Christmas Eve. Erin our youngest and my mother ran over to our house to decorate for our holiday homecoming. My sister packed up her kitchen to bring all the food to our house for the holiday meal. It was by far the best Christmas ever. Over this past summer he tried to live his life to the fullest however with everything he did, he said he had only one regret. Not being here for the girls when they get married and have children. That really bothered him but he said he was happy to have had us as a family and by making me his wife. That’s the best gift he ever gave me. His name. It is very difficult knowing there won’t be any more Christmas holidays or summers with Fran. Hard knowing there isn’t going to be anymore of anything with Fran. Each day I get out of bed and go to work, care for the dogs and go on with life. That’s what’s expected right? Well it’s much harder then I ever thought it would be. While I do have the best support system in my family, friends, coworkers and neighbors there are the quiet times where the feeling of emptiness comes in. Fran was so much to everyone but so much more to me. A part of me died that day with him but having the good memories and having people share them is such a wonderful gift for me and our girls Jessica, Shiloh & Erin.